


Lost Cause

by somebodytoldme



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebodytoldme/pseuds/somebodytoldme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the plan to distract unrequited love with casual sex. Except casual sex isn’t so easy when you develop feelings for the casual partner whom casually loves somebody else who doesn’t know it, and whom is also your best friend. Then things really turn to shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This starts in the middle and works itself to the end then to the beginning and back again to the end. If that doesn’t make sense, just go with it, and it will later.

“ _Ouch_ ,” Ray grumbled as his foot was crushed in their haste to squeeze into the stupid little closet. It was Gavin’s magnificent plan to get changed into their alter ego costumes in this closet so that they could pop out in the video as X-Ray and Vav. It was a horrible idea, but then it was Gavin’s idea and Ray was stupid enough to go along with it.

Their knees knock together and he sighs, resigning himself to this sad fate, “stop, will you? You’re going to knock us both out or worse.”

"Sorry!" Gavin giggles, but still continues to fidget to get his pants down to his ankles.

Being the more resourceful of the two, Ray pulled out his phone and put it on the flashlight app. He was welcomed by Gavin’s cheeky grin, inches away from his face, “nice save, X-Ray.”

"This is retarded," he announces because it really is one of the dumbest things he has been coaxed into doing. They are both standing in a tiny closet half undressed, trying to squeeze into spandex costumes. Bad combination. He suspects he better put on his cup before he gets a nut shot from either a knee or an elbow.

Gavin just giggles again.

And that is just enough. Time feels frozen on this point in time, with Gavin’s face now pressed into his shoulder as his body racks with laughter from this ridiculous situation they are in. Because when Ray started this all, he never expected something like this to happen.. Where Gavin was truly happy, even though that had been his aim…

But… Most of all, he never expected for time to freeze. For his heart to stop and get all trippy like it never has before. But it does happen. And that is why when he has that stupid, fucking, impulse he takes it.

Gavin’s blinking up at him with tears in his eyes, his face is warm with laughter and his smile is just huge. And so Ray leans forward and captures it. It is similar to the many times he has since they’ve started this thing, but it is also different from all those others. Because it is spur of the moment, it isn’t measured or restrained. It is just free and it is feeling, the feeling of his heart beating way too fast in his chest.

He is over thinking, over analyzing just what this means in his head, even though it is pretty obvious. Yet, Gavin’s moan of agreement is, sadly, enough for him to quickly lose that train of thought. From there it just becomes what it has been, strictly physical. 

He’s being pressed into the wall, and he is just taking and taking. Gavin’s pants are already down around his ankles, but his shirt is still on. So, he skims his hands under and up, mildly annoyed that the douche-bag as to always wear a size smaller.

Gavin’s hands are gripping the loops of his shorts, buckling him impossibly close as he assaults his mouth. And it really feels so good that they pretty much forget there they are, making out heavily in the company closet…

That is until the door opens, shedding blinding light that stuns them both. They stand there like two deer in the headlights caught fucking. “Oh, hey,” Ryan says because everybody is awkwardly standing outside watching the sight. Both of them half undressed and still hooked to each other.

Gavin quickly jumps aside, righting his pants and looking guilty. Ray adjusts his glasses, and is welcomed with several expressions. Ryan looks amused, Geoff looks as though he is trying to hold in either shit or manic laughter, Jack just looks shocked, and Michael… Michael looks kind of pissed off. Which is only affirmed when he turns and storms away.

Guilt worms his stomach, only growing worse when Gavin leaves him to run after Michael.

It is at that point that everybody awkwardly shuffles in their own directions without so much as word. They leave Ray standing alone in the back of the closet. And so, he sinks down underneath the coats, find comfort and solace in making himself as small as possible in this small space.

He feels a cocktail of horrible emotions all at once. Guilt for starting this whole shit storm. Anger for knowing that it would come to this, and still doing it anyway. Shame because now everybody knows and everybody is talking about it. And pain from watching Gavin chase after Michael first and foremost. 

But most of all he feels stupid. Like the biggest goddamn idiot on the planet because he knew before he even started that this was a lost cause. Yet, he let himself get invested in it anyway… He’s trapped himself alone in this goddamn closet. 

It’s just deserved, really.

And it gets worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Ray feels numb by the time he slides out of the closet. He feels so tired, so empty, that he is just flying on autopilot as he heads back to the office to get his shit together. Thankfully, it is late enough that everybody else has packed up their shit and given up for the day. That meant Ray didn’t have to deal with any questions or looks until tomorrow.

He turned off his computer, watching in vain as the background depicting his and Gav’s super alter-egos flickered away. A small part of him feels petty enough to turn the computer back on and change the desktop… A part of him is so ashamed that he just wants to hide all the evidence of Gavin’s slow invasion into his life.

He paused, and yanked off the two post-it notes (one a doodle of a dick and the other a butt hole) from his monitor, and stuffed them into his front pockets. He doesn’t know why that makes him feel better. But it does.

—-

The next day is awful.

Ray is the first one there, like always, because he lives pretty close, and everyone else is slow as fuck.

But then Jack shows up, and he says hello and acts  _normal,_ like nothing happened yesterday. It throws Ray off guard at first, but it gets to the point where he can  _almost_  forget anything happened. Like it was all a nightmare. He even begins to relax enough to lean back in his chair shoot the shit with Jack. And then Michael shows up. 

He says hello to Jack, but is otherwise silent as he sets his stuff down at his desk. He doesn’t even turn to look at Ray, nor does he say anything as he slides on his headphones purposely and boots up his computer. Call him a coward, but Ray knew that a silent Michael was worse than a yelling Michael. Besides, the words were caught in his throat… What words could he say that would even begin to fix or even explain this situation? This stupid situation he put himself in.

_Sorry, as your best friend I was fucking your other friend who has this huge boner for you but won’t admit it._

Yeah, sounded great. 

So, they sat in silence until Geoff showed up announcing they were going to record next week’s let’s play in GTA V. Ryan trailed in not long after, and Ray forced himself to participate… Even though he kept wanting to stare at Gavin’s chair and wonder why he wasn’t there.

Was Gavin really that ashamed of him? That he didn’t even text him after he left the closet… That he didn’t even come into work the next day? He ached. But he was also angry because he was worth at least a text or an explanation.

So, he rang Gavin in the fucking closet. He almost gave up on the fourth ring, but sure enough it clicked through. 

Gavin’s stupid, “hello?” was almost enough to make him tear up. He was pathetic.

"Gavin…" he says because that is the only word he can remember at the moment.

And Gavin sighs on the other end, “Ray…” There is a long pause. “Look,” and Ray knows from previous experience that it only goes downhill from there. He almost hangs up just so he doesn’t have to hear it. Just so he isn’t fed some shitty, generic breakup speech. But he knows that it is hard for Gavin to say, and some really shitty part of him wants to make it hard for Gavin. He wants him to feel  _something_ over this. 

"Look things were good while we did them… But it isn’t a good idea for the two of us, for coworkers to be doing that kind of stuff. It could ruin the dynamic we have and it is probably just better if we stop."

He doesn’t want to say that dynamic is already lost. He doesn’t want to ask that if it were Michael, would it be different? He doesn’t want to know because he doesn’t want to be hurt. So, he just nods and says, “ok.” 

And even after that he can’t bring himself to hang up, so he just stands there and waits for Gavin to first. He listens to Gavin breath against the receiver, as if he can not compel himself to hang up either. It is at least a minute before Gavin finally cuts the connection without either of them breathing a word.


	3. Chapter 3

Ray is the good guy. He has always tried his best to be the Good Guy Ray, helping people out controls on games to just being a good sport and all.

And he really does try to be a good sport when Gavin returns from his mysterious sickness. But it is so fucking hard because he sits there and watches Gavin quietly kiss Michael’s ass just to get back in his good graces. And while Ray misses Michael terribly, since he currently isn’t talking to him,  watching it is more painful than ever.

"Ooh, Michael, thank you!" Gavin cries as Michael saves his skin from Ryan.

"Heyy, don’t worry, you’re my boy Gavy!"

Ray watches Gavin’s cheeks flush slightly, his face getting that giddy, happy look as he yells into the mic, “Team Nice Dynamite!”

And there is nothing particularity special about this moment, but it is just it. It is the crack in a million that just breaks Ray. Perhaps it is because they have now come in a complete circle, with nothing changing. Nothing except two of his friendships going to complete shit. It’s his goddamn fault, too.

Either way, he was done. So, he quietly saves his progress and begins to collect his shit, muttering some excuse about feeling sick. And he dragged himself home, a petty part of him hoped Gavin would chase after him like some dumb chick flick. But he didn’t.

That is how Ray ended up crashed out on his bed with sheets that still smelled faintly of sex.

And at one point his depression would turn to anger, and he would be up and ripping the sheets from the mattress. In the flurry of stripping his bed, he would stub his toe on the bedpost and cry a swear. And following suit his ambition would be killed, leaving him collapsed on a bare mattress with a pile of linens at his feet.

—-

"Are you… certain you want to do this?" Gavin asks, still looking as completely dumbfounded as when Ray had made the proposal to him.

"Sex me up," Ray says because he is ready for this, he wouldn’t have offered if he wasn’t sure. Honestly, Ray liked girls, but he wasn’t against trying new things, especially when Gavin was concerned… He trusted him, and he had no problem getting his rocks on the past week they were making out.

Gavin is just staring his dumb gob, so Ray leans forward, closing the space between them on the bed, and kisses him softly. Gav responds instantly, already familiar with this bit, he licks his way into Ray’s mouth. The kiss deepens, until Ray breaks it off with Gav’s moan. He slyly scoots himself down the mattress, stretching out like an offering that Gavin doesn’t hesitate on this time.

It feels weirdly comforting to have a warm body covering his, as Gavin’s lips quickly recover his own for a brief kiss. And then he is kissing his cheek and behind his ear, his nose bumping the frame of his glasses. Ray lets his hands lay waste Gavin’s hair, which is secretly his favorite thing. And it is so easy for the to fall into their old cycle of exchanging lazy kisses.

So easy that Ray almost forgets their original intent, until Gav lazily bites the corner of his mouth and mutters, “shouldn’t we take off our shirts or something?”

Ray suddenly feels nervous, not unsure that this is what he wants, but anticipating what it will be like. Gavin leans back and yanks at the collar of his tight tee, while he easily lifts his over his head.

"You’re so white," Gavin playfully accuses.

"You’re so hairy," Ray quips back before he is assaulted.

Gavin kisses from his collarbone to his chest, and while it is unfamiliar, it also felt kind of nice… To the point where when Gavin paused at his nipple, as if asking for permission, all he did was nod. It felt odd at first, but with each nip and suck Ray felt more sensitive to the point where just Gavin’s breath would make him shiver.

"Enough, already," he groaned and pushed playfully at Gavin’s shoulders because he really couldn’t take anymore. 

Gavin was scooting up immediately claiming his lips and reaching down to unbutton his jeans. Ray felt his blood rush southward, and Gavin who noticed his pause stopped, “you alright?”

Ray smirked, he didn’t imagine Gavin to be such a concerned fuck, “yeah… just get your dick out already.”

"Yeahh, right."

——

And then there was a knock on the door which erased the memory from Ray’s mind. He rolled over with a sigh, spotting the time on the alarm clock that was at least two hours later than he last remembered. The knocking became more insistent until Ray let out a shout that he was on his way.

Who would really be visiting his apartment eight, he wasn’t really sure since people didn’t really chill here unless invited… Or unless they were Gavin stumbling in. His heart did that stupid thing where it skipped right up to his throat, and left his innards in sickly knots. What if it was him?

And, worse, what if it wasn't?


	4. Chapter 4

Ray never was never good at doing shit half-assed. Either he went all out on something and kept going until he perfected it, or he just didn’t waste his energy. He always considered himself a good judge of what was easily in reach and what was not… Because he preferred to exert the least amount of energy on stupid shit. For example if there is a fence that is easily jumped over, you might as well jump over it than walking all the way around (and this example is totally random— it has nothing to with race, ok!). 

So, here Ray is jumping fences and taking nice short cuts and shit, doing his own little number, when he saw it.

It was a fairly normal day at work, when Michael and Lindsey both stood in front of them all and happily announced the date of their wedding. And Ray was in the back of the room clapping when he caught sight of Gavin’s expression. He looked as though he had been struck across the face, and it was only a matter of seconds before he left the room. However, the image was what still burned into Ray’s mind for weeks.

The look haunted him, and he began to notice things.. Like, every time Michael and Gavin were together, Ray couldn’t help but see Gavin’s ever fond expression and Michael’s clueless one. He saw the glassy, stary eyes he shot in Michael’s direction when he wasn’t looking. He saw the little touches he would steal, like brushing their shoulders together or touching the back of his hand. 

And it really didn’t take a genius to put one and one together. Ray couldn’t take this realization back, and he saw it everywhere. Inside, his gut told him that this was hopeless cause, that he really shouldn’t try to interfere.

Honestly, he would probably create a large problem by taking on the impossible. Gavin kept it secret for a reason… And Michael and the rest of the guys were blissfully clueless. So, Ray tried his best to forget it, to stay out of it… He really did.

But it was too painful to watch.

So, began Operation Distract Gavin. Which, basically, started out with them eating lunches together, to them playing video games and shoving their faces with junk food at Ray’s apartment.

—-

"You should call that chick from the sandwich shop, she was so into you," Gavin announced as he leaned over and bumped shoulders with Ray, whom was immersed a rather intense game of Tetris.

"No way."

"Aw, come on Ray, she was cute! Get some action! ..besides with your Xbox that is.."

Ray rolled his eyes as he cleared four lines, and effectively shoved off from Gavin’s insistent elbowing. “And cheat on this? Never…” He cleared another line, blocks falling almost instantaneously, “why don’t  _you_  call her?”

Ray saw Gavin shrug from the corner of his eye, and heard him mutter, “not interested…” before he stood up to go dig through the kitchen for more junk food.

Ray sighed, his head hitting the back of the couch as he fucked up the next line.

—-

The more they hung out, the closer friends they became. They had inside jokes and looks that could say thousands of words. It was great.

And somewhere along the way Ray started this game… And he didn’t know  _how_  it began or even when… It just was a  _thing_  he did. It was kind of fun, like a secret mission or something, a special challenge that he deserved a fucking  _achievement_ for because it was hard as dicks.

Keeping Gavin alive during a Let’s Play, that was.

Today, however, Ray had camped himself on top of the building, watching through his sniper scope as Gavin ran about clueless, searching for ammo. Until he spotted Jack sneaking up on him, so, Ray took aim and fired, watching Jack’s name scroll up as blipped with some satisfaction.

"Goddamn it, sniper," Jack cried from across the room, which was followed by easy laughter.

Gavin finally turned around to spot Jack’s corpse and he howled with laughter, “ahahaha, Jack!”

"Yeah, I was trying to sneak up on you, but somebody sniped me first!"

"Wasn’t me," Geoff muttered which soon broke into a yell of outrage as Ryan murdered him.

"It was my guardian angel!" Gavin announced as he moved positions, and started into a building. Which meant Ray had to get his ass on the move as well.

He was so concentrated on following Gavin’s dot on the map, that he almost missed the way the boy leaned back in his chair to wink at Ray. But he caught it, out of the corner of his eye he saw the knowing look in Gavin’s eyes. He turned away quickly, but the wink burned in his mind, and he felt heat crawl up his cheeks because…

Well, shit. He thought that nobody had noticed… Distracted by his thoughts, Ray didn’t spot Michael until it was too late. “Shit,” he muttered and awaited the respawn. 

"Ray, what was that? You were a dead duck!"

He shrugged his shoulders easily, “well…. y’know..”

"Don’t worry, X-Ray, I’ll avenge you!" Gavin announced only to be shot down by Michael.

"OOOH, avenge _wha_ t? You’re dead bitch, you’re  _dead_!”

Gavin cried out as Ray climbed the ladder to the top of the building again.

"Where’s your guardian angel now?" Geoff added from across the room as Gavin spawned before him.  
  
"AHhh, X-Ray, help!" Gavin cried as he narrowly escaped Geoff.

Ray aimed on his target, and pulled the trigger. The shot hit its mark and Gavin’s death flickered up on the screen.

"Ray!" Gavin leaned back in his chair, sulky clearly.

Ray hid a smirk behind his mic, moving quickly from his hiding spot.

"It’s just you and me, Ray!" Geoff announced, and the game progressed quickly from there. 

Ray won.

—-

"I still can’t believe you turned on me… X-Ray and Vav, remember?" Gavin whined later over a marathon of Walking Dead. 

Ray bit back a smirk and shrugged, “well, y’know, couldn’t let the people think I had favorites.”

Gavin bounced in his spot, “I’m your favorite Ray?!”

Ray groaned because he just put his foot in his mouth, “of course not, Geoff is obviously… I’m paid to think as such.”

Gavin just smirked, “whatever you say, X-Ray.”

"Shut the hell up."

—-

His phone buzzed, and Ray, being a night hawk, had just hit the bed about ten minutes ago. He reached, blindly, for his phone, wondering who the hell could be calling him at 4:20 am.

"Hello?" he answered, blindly rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Is this Ray?" a voice he didn’t recognize asked.

He was too fucking tired for prank calls, but he also wasn’t an asshole so he kept it short, “yeah, what do you want?”

"Um, there is a guy called Gavin asking for you here… He’s pretty drunk, and I think he needs a ride home."

Ray sat up, “where is he?”

—-

"You fucking reek, man," Ray complained loudly as he dragged a very drunk Gavin along on his shoulder. Apparently, the idiot got so drunk he barfed all over the bar, and therefore was to be sent home. Ray didn’t even say anything, however, when he realized the bar Gavin had gotten sick in was actually a  _gay bar._  

"Sss’not true…" Gavin slurred pathetically, trying to pout up at Ray. Instead, all Ray got was hot, smelly breath in his face as Gavin slurred on, "m’great!"

Ray groaned, and stopped for a moment, “dude, get your smelly ass face away from mine.” 

The sudden lack of motion made Gavin sway and groan. It did, however, make him return to sagging down.

"Next time call a friend with a fucking car, ok?" 

Gavin protested again, this time he kept his head down, however. “…you…were the f’st thought of-f..”

And that made Ray stop again, and in consequence made Gavin groan. But really… what did that mean? That they were now close enough friends that… 

"Shut up, Gavin," he muttered and moved forward one step at a time.


	5. Chapter 5

Ray pauses on his way to the door. Because if it was Gavin, then shouldn’t he straighten up? Should he not look clean and happy? Should he not look as rough and shaken as he felt? What they had was nothing. He was nothing. He was just the  _distraction guy_. The guy that Gavin would fuck when he wanted to get Michael out of his mind. He raked his hands through his thick hair, chewing out his lip as some repentance for his stupidity. For these  _black_  and ugly feelings of jealousy and anger and  _pain_. 

And he reaches the door, and yanks it open, like ripping off a band-aid. Gavin is stood there, his hand raised and looking generally displaced. Ray could be the nice guy and greet him. Give him something. But he feels like all his giving has been got, so he just waits.

Gavin’s hand awkwardly falls to his side, clenching in and out of a fist. “You alright?”

Gavin had no right to ask him that question. He had no right to look so concerned for Ray’s health after, basically, telling him to fuck off earlier that week. He just looks down at the sneakers he still hasn’t taken off. “I’m fine.”

Sensing the lie in Ray’s voice, how could he not after becoming accustomed to every sound he made in those few months, Gavin edged forward. “You don’t look fine.”

"Must of ate a bad quesadilla or something…" He feels Gavin’s fingers brush over the back of his hand, seeking to give him some comfort.

But it isn’t gray that he wants in this black in white picture. It was either Gavin had feelings… or he did not. He’d drive himself bad with half truths. So, he ends up flinching away, tucking his hands safely into his pockets. “Is that… all?” he asks rather rudely, wishing nothing more than to crawl back into his empty bed to wallow in self pity.

Gavin looks pained. In fact, in any other circumstances, Ray would of laughed his ass off and called that look  _constipated._  But in this case he was bracing himself for a blow, and one did come. “No, I miss you.”

Anger comes like a flash, hot it shoots through his veins like venom. And it comes out in an unexpected way, it comes out in bitter laughter. “Are you fucking serious, man? We are not doing this.”

At the very least, Gavin has the decency to look ashamed. “But I  _do._  A whole lot. A lot more than I thought I would. And I…”

Ray holds up his hand, and stops the words out of Gavin’s mouth before he can confirm what he already knows. Before he can make things worse for the both of them. Before Ray gives in like the sap he is and takes Gavin back with his half-assed declaration.

"…Y’know, you’re kind of a big asshole…" he breathes. "But I am kind of in love with you, so… I can’t do this any longer."

—-

"I think I owe you an explanation…"

"Hell yeah you do," Ray responded, smirking at the twisted guilt on Gavin’s face getting progressively worse. "After you take a  _shower_ , please, for the sake of my  _home._ _”_

A smile dislodges at Ray’s comment, at the normalcy of which he treats Gavin — like the shithead he really is. “ _Yeah, alright,_ " he bemoans as he pathetically shuffles off to the bathroom.

Gavin comes back out, fresh faced, and dressed in the clothes he borrowed, at Ray’s insistence that the others had to be washed  _immediately._  He pulls at the his shirt, “you’re very  _tidy_.” _  
_

Ray’s eyebrows shot up, “is that a racial slur from Gavino Free I hear?”

"Nahh," he shrugged and plopped down on a stool by the kitchen counter. "Got anything to eat?"

"Captain Crunch?"

"Sounds great."

They ate in silence for a few moments, until Ray prompted, “so, explanation?”

Gavin, who had loosened up from the shower seemed to stiffen again. He gave no immediate reply, just sat there pushing his cereal around in his bowl.

Ray sighed, and finally asked the question that had been pestering him all night. “Why did you call  _me?”_

Gavin looks up, like he is shocked this is a question at all. He blinks, “uhh, because you were just the first one who came to my mind?”

But what did that  _mean?_  That he was the first person Gavin thought of to pick him up… There were so many more liable options that would have been, honestly,  _better_  options.

"…You’re… not wondering why I was at a…" Gavin freezes there like just saying it allowed is a lifetime of bad luck. 

A gay club, ah, that was right… He picked Gavin up from a gay club. He could say that he wasn’t all together shocked, not by the way that he looked at Michael. But he didn’t. He just shrugged his shoulders, “it’s not my problem if you like dick.”

Gavin let out a breath that Ray didn’t realize he was holding, and it sounded like a mix of a laugh and sob. “You’re not disgusted?”

"No? I mean, how bad can kissing a guy be?"

"It’s not just kissing."

"Well  _no_. But that part does come first.”

"Its pretty different… sometimes there is stubble."

"Kissing is kissing. It is not  _that different.”_

 _“_ It is.”

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Try me."

"In your dreams."

"You bet."

And that conversation ended any discomfort Gavin had with discussing his sexuality to Ray. Which was great. But it also left Ray curious.

—-

"It is so frustrating," Gavin complains loudly from his bed.

"This level, yeah, but it is significantly easier if you get the perks  _earlier_  in the level.” Ray scowls, from the floor, elbows deep in trying to get Gavin the achievement he has been bitching about the past week. Which was why they were also stuck in his overheated, hot room.

"Not all of us can be good at video games, Ray," Gavin chides, rolling down to the edge of the bed to watch the back of Ray’s head. 

He just hums and listens to Gavin rustle about on his bed, obviously bored. “Done.”

Gavin props himself up again, “done, as in done done?”

"Yeah, achievement unlocked," Ray tosses the controller back up.

"You’re the best."

Ray admires Gavin’s cheeky grin and his ever messy hair, “I try.”

—-

Ray could easily blame on their transfer from just friends to friends with benefits on phase two of distracting Gavin. He could blame it on the looks that Gavin still feed Michael’s way, and the ever clueless response. He could say it was all for charity, just to feed Gavin the physically aspects as well as the emotional.

But it was probably his own curiosity, triggered by that conversation, that began it all.

It was a night where they were just switching between a marathon of Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead because they were too lazy to bother with games. And for some reason, that night, they seemed to gravitate close together. 

Ray is pretty sure he is the one who initiated the kiss. He can’t even remember why or how, just that it was in the moment… During a rather climatic scene of the show, they just had this moment. Eye connection, and then he was closing the distance, and Gavin was just waiting. Watching. And then he was kissing him, another guy, and it felt pretty good. It felt like a kiss should.

Gavin broke away first, “what are we  _doing?_ ”

Ray’s heart is pounding madly in his chest… Like he was just committed for capital punishment. “Kissing.”

"Yeah," Gavin smirks at Ray’s answer, "I realized that. I mean…" He looks down at his hands, "why… I mean… I already like somebody and—"

Ray silences him with another kiss because why not at this point, “I know.”

Gavin stares at him, or rather he stares at his lips like he wants more. “Alright, so what does that make us?”

"Friends?"

"With benefits?"

"Why not?" Ray half whispers, not being able to finish his words before he is attacked. Before he is pushed into the couch with rough kisses. It is like this past week has just been building up to this moment, a moment neither of them realized they were working towards until it occurred. But now it it feels so natural.

His hands bury themselves into Gavin’s hair.

—-

After that things are physical about them. It should be weird, but it isn’t. Things don’t change between them. Only… Sometimes they will share a kiss. Or sometimes, depending on Gavin’s frustration that day, it will turn into a full make out session.

And Ray doesn’t mind the change. At first it was curiosity, and now it felt something like  _lust_. He could say he was being helpful, in distracting Gavin’s never ending lust for Michael and also preventing him from hitting as many clubs… But really it was that he found himself enjoying it too. 

He really didn’t notice when lust became something else entirely, at least not until it was too late. Not until seconds before they were caught.


End file.
